Book Category: Book Translations

The next day is more or less what she expected. To tell the future is really no problem as long as one can add up one and one. Of course, one needs to leave room for the surprise as a factor of uncertainty, – only gods are permitted to be infallible. Good fortune has it that work is not quite as unpleasant. It is one of those days where it is very quiet indeed.

Femina has plenty of time to brew herself one coffee after the other and she can read the papers and magazines that lie around. The news are not really any different from the ones yesterday, the only things that change are the names and the localities. She browses the pages without much interest and has another cigarette, again. She had no breakfast. She was glad to get out of bed altogether. The coffee certainly helps her to keep going, with a little tremor as noticeable side-effect. She can see it on the cigarette she holds between her fingers.

She grabs a science-magazine and finds a few interesting articles, but it is “utopia” for the local health organization, simply because most of the advances cannot not be implemented here, partially due to financial constraints. Oh well, Femina can only repeat herself, using the phrase of ‘living on, or behind the moon’ again and again. She never was on the moon to her regret, but is sure life up there would have to be more advanced than it is here, technologically advanced, at least.

Before she starts to get too carried away with her criticism she remembers she needs to attend the ‘lunch time’ meeting. What time is it anyway? She has no watch. She turns the radio on. Every full hour they bring the news and state the time. Pop-music, the type of light entertainment for a fresh new day, breaks the silence. Still too loud for her, so she turns the volume down. She really wants to know the time only, the rest is too much for her senses.

Time! How important time has become. Particularly in this world order, time is all and everywhere, visible, from the clock towers to the watches, in public places and market halls, in all work places and offices. Surprisingly, no wall clock is in here. Likely, because no one is without a watch anyway, administration may not have bothered. Too much importance is paid to time for her taste. She has constantly to look what time it is. Without a watch one is lost. Time equals money equals life. Strangely enough, most people have neither time nor money, – they still live, but may be they don’t have a life after all. Ah, so what! There are many sand corns in a desert. Circumstances demand adjustments. That is a question of survival. But she does not need to worry about that at present. She is more concerned about the question regarding pleasure. Ah, so what! She must admit her thoughts are truly disorganized. Today is not the day to be pensive. Today the surface is deep enough.

Just as the gong sound breaks off the music, the door is flung open and a colleague storms into the room. She makes so much noise, as usual, in whatever she does. Femina cannot hear the time announcement. ‘Indeed, it had to be this “Blowfish!” Her thoughts go off like firework. She never likes the presence of this woman. The blown up body documents her hyper inflated ego and her babbling is painful and empty. She produces soap bubbles, no content and sadly none of the colors either. But she has a watch, so Femina gets the time after all. Eleven o’clock! Ah, that’s good! She can have another coffee and another cigarette. The colleague also has some bananas and offers Femina one. Accepting happily, she finds it goes well with the coffee. Besides, hunger has made its appearance. She must admit that she is indeed a lucky person. Her thoughts can busy themselves with the question of pleasure instead being forced to have to think of survival.

More colleagues turn up. The peace is definitely over. ‘What will be the first topic today, gossip or talking shop?’ One is as good as the other, they only want to outdo each other anyway. She grabs her magazine and retreats from the table to the bed that is further away. She focuses on an article, to prevent herself from listening or even looking at anyone. Her energies are the Holy Grail, particularly today running on half empty. Besides, she dislikes wastage. And she will not dislike herself because she does not like these characters nor their clamors.

Unfortunately, the article is not helpful. It is a report about a hallucinogenic drug, which does not really add anything new to the already known facts, but the author is very bias and makes statements that are truly his personal views rather than an objective account as he tries to claim. It annoys her to see this in a scientific magazine because it is a misuse and manipulation in the name of science for his own agenda. May be he should go on a trip, once at least. Femina smiles. Most likely he would have one of horror…….

She gets serious again. It is so disappointing, because she is totally for science. She loves the specialists who cram themselves full of data, adding the ‘nano seconds’ and the ‘zero zero point zero mass particles’ enthusiastically to the other point zero of whatever they study, – but that is enough, no more is required. Everyone should after all form his own opinion. She looks up. There is the general motion of departure. The troop of young ‘White Coats’ hurries to the conference room.

“You are not really in a good mood today, or are you,” says Blowfish to her as they wait for the elevator.

“Not necessarily,” she replies, remaining silent again.

They squeeze themselves into the cabin and one of the other colleagues whom she calls “balloon heads” because they have air in their heads and not much more, starts to talk about late nights and partying ogling over to her in reference.

“Ah, and you”, says she, “have you discovered the stone of wisdom today already?” Some of the group grin, others remain uncertain of what to say or do. Nobody answers.

“But Femina!” Blowfish exclaims after all, “I have never seen that side of you!” Blowfish is obviously in need to earn some ovations. ‘That’s it!’ Femina shrugs her shoulders and states ‘that life is full of surprises, isn’t it.’ After that they leave her in alone.

The lunch meeting gathers the whole team around the boss. Some of the people she likes are there as well and as it turns out, – the boss is in an acidic mood. Some of his requests for his department have not been successful, got stuck in the stickiness of the institutions with their overblown bureaucracy. The cynical remarks he has for it make Femina laugh. She finds it refreshing and entertaining. Sometimes she can like him and will admit that he has some potential, can even see some Sozieterna material in him. What a pity that he is otherwise such a loser, it would never suffice for their folks. She calls herself to order. There is no need to go on a recruitment trip, neither now nor later nor ever.

After the meeting most go for their lunch to the canteen. She returns to the officer’s room, and brews another coffee. A nice colleague turns up and just as they want to settle for a bit of a chat, the telephone rings and calls Femina to duty. Too bad! It is so close to the end of her shift and now work has caught up with her after all. There is just enough time to have the coffee, and off she goes.

She still finishes work on time and makes it home just right for her meal. Tina and the little one are out for some day activities. They will only come back at dinner time. That means Femina has the rest of the afternoon to herself. She retreats into the bathroom and indulges in body and mind regeneration. She covers her face with a hydrating mask and while it unfolds the soothing effects she relaxes in a scented bubble bath that takes care of the rest of her body. Then she has a hot and cold alternating shower massage and well after an hour she truly feels like Aphrodite, – she also was born by emerging from foam as we know. To round it all up she prescribes herself a beauty sleep which is deep and dreamless and is only interrupted by some unusual noises. She remains a little while longer in her bed, listening. The laugh of the little girl is a clear sound like a bell that comes up amongst all other commotion like a fresh breeze on a hot summer day. Femina slips into a comfortable gown and enters the living room.

They are in an indulgent mood, but must serve themselves because Femina’s domestic help is in its docking station to get uploaded. Tina is inspecting ‘him’ while Femina puts out all the goodies she can find. Tina states that it is exactly the model she is after. Her old one is definitely not for repair, but she does not want to spend too much money, though she admits, the really top class models are outstanding in what they can do and what they actually look like. However, these are not yet available where she or Femina live. At their latitude everything lags behind. Of course it is only a question of time when the markets will offer them but one can expect them to be exorbitant expensive, initially at least. Femina’s type is sufficient to do all the domestic duties, even simple cooking, but lacks the ability of complex multi-tasking and, is incased in metal, in a statuesque design like the old Greek or Roman male statues. They were once a real hit product. Femina painted ‘Robbi’ black which looks great indeed. He even oils himself, when his joints start to creak. Tina was only recently at an international conference in one of the highly industrialized capital cities of the West-Zone and gives Femina an update.

“You know”, she says, “these people over there must be really well of, because I saw many of these new types in the shopping center that I went to. They are still expensive over there too. But there were so many, it won’t take long and you will meet hardly any real people in some of the facilities at least, except may be supervisors and security. And would you believe it, on one of my excursions I saw the bust of one, for shop-lifting!!!!!”

Femina and Tina find that truly funny and they start to make up stories about roboter-gangsters and robber knights while they indulge in the foods on the table. As they slowly get full they also get more sober. The roboter robber tales don’t sound that funny anymore either, because the prospect that one cannot differentiate between roboter and human is in fact not funny at all, at least not desirable, or so they believe. But then again, it is even worse to see humans being dehumanized in the surveyor belt factories where one type task and speed requirements transform the workers into a robotic workforce. Nor is it acceptable what they do to the chicken, who have to produce egg after egg and never can stretch their legs or live a life they deserve just as any other creature in this world.  That’s how they do it in the countries where the two women currently live, where people know of technology, but don’t have it as much. No surprise that the humans lose their health, no surprise that the yoke of hens has lost its color. The women shudder in sadness for both of them.

They go back into the living room. Femina puts a new record on the turning table. The remainder of the champagne has turned look warm. Never mind! It is enough for two glasses and then, Femina decides, she will go to bed to get some sleep at least. Her mood drops instantly further down the abyss.

“Damn, damn, damn it!” She hisses. “Damn it all! I am not interested in anything here at all. I am not interested in my job, nor the people I have to put up with. The land is boring, the population altogether worse than boring! Ah, Tina”, she sighs. Melancholy has returned. She has no words to express it. Her emotions are too fast for it. Forces clash inside her and in between there runs the pain up and down. Logic dictates to put up the defenses. To travel with it would be a challenge, and an adventure. “Hmhm!” That puts the smiles back on her face. She looks at Tina: “I have just seen stormy waters. Poisonous green, gleaming like phosphor, the foam an ember spray…….”

“Cheers”, says Tina, taking a sip she continues with a cool voice: “Enough now! What do you want? Do you really have so much aggression piled up that it tears you apart? I feel sorry for you, but it is your own doing.” She pauses while she looks piercingly at her friend. Finally she says: “You really need to leave! I have never seen you so fragile. You may be theatrical at times, even impulsive, but breakable….?” Shaking her head softly her eyes remain on Femina but now with warmth and concern.

Femina’s eyes are half shut. She has smoked far too much. They sting, and the alcohol continues to play its paradoxical game. ‘What does she want’ has Tina asked, and is she getting torn up.’ Motley thoughts fly in her head. Indeed she likes adventure. She even likes poisonous green water and the phosphor spray and in no way will she let herself be torn apart, or will she? She smiles silently because she must admit there is no telling if she can truly prevent harm while going on an adventurous trip.

She takes her glass filled with the tired champagne. She holds it up against the light. Tiny little bubbles are a reminder of the once sprightly life. Now they form shimmering threads, striving to the surface where death meets them after all.

“Cheers”, she says taking a sip. She swirls the fluid around in her mouth. The warmth has changed the taste but the quality is good, no sad circumstances could change that. Good enough to rinse her esophagus with the rest.

She winks at Tina, accentuates it with a naïve eyelid flutter and a deep melodramatic sigh: “Oh the world is so bad……… only I am good……..”

Tina shakes her head stating: “You have always been a cheap drunk! Let us call it for the night. I am tired as well.”

Being well behaved they both do not let the rest of the champagne go to waste drinking it to the last drop. After all they are ready to go to bed, but it is not as simple as that. Femina stumbles over her own feet and falls backwards on to the rug. Tina tries to help her up, landing herself on the floor. They burst into laughter and by carrying on trying to get up again, they end up rolling around like the puppy dogs with rubbery legs. They are not only noisy, but also careless in their actions as they tackle the obstacles in their way. An astray flies of the table, catapulting the many cigarette buds all over the rug. What a relief to have “Robbi”. He will make his first clean-up tour punctually at five and at seven he will have breakfast ready, even if she may not be able to get up at all.

The little one lies happily asleep in Femina’s big bed. ‘She must have sneaked in’ Tina says. Never mind! The women, one on each side slip carefully under the blanket, taking the girl into their midst. There are so many children in this world. They all need love. To give them love does not mandate to be their parent. Love should be given to them freely by all, parent or not. Femina remembers a news clip which not so long ago got her fuming. Of course she had to consider in what conservative country she lived. It was about a newborn that the state took into custody, because it was born by a surrogate. They justified their action that they had to clarify the legality and jurisdiction. There they are these moral stalwarts, putting the paragraphs on a newborn and taking away the love that the couple who wanted that child had and were ready to give. Unlikely that the state could make up for it. The moral police and theoretisists call that responsibility, their duty to protect the child and its rights! They could sort out the legalities while the child remained in loving care, could they not? Truly, the world can be as beautiful as it is, with such bureaucrats, it can never be more than paradise lost.

Femina’s eyes rest on the girl’s pieceful face, than she looks at Tina who has cuddled up to her and who says her final “good night”.

“Good night”, answers Femina switching off the light.

Sleep is indeed a royal lover. Tonight he is Nosferatu, black and red is his cape, pale is his face. Mother of pearl night, scent of eternity, – mmmmh…….dreams start to take over while her mind drifts away.

“Mh, this champagne is not bad at all”, says Femina and follows the tingling cool from the mouth into the stomach, into the blood, right into the cells of her brain and all her body. In fact, she feels more and more tipsy and she does not mind at all. She leans back into the pillows and looks closely at Tina. She has changed, is far more relaxed than she has ever seen her. Tina glances back and reading minds comes naturally. They smile and are happy. It is after all only a question of dimensions: the content is a constant, the form is changeable, the shapes are different and limited in time. It may be only a moment, but that is exclusive.

“You look phantastic”, she states, eying her friend all over again. She starts to hum some notes: ‘Sex and drugs and rock’n roll….’, grinning at the same time.

“What about?” says Tina

Femina shakes her head: “Ah, its scandalous, shocking, tantalizing, – and all this served with your oh so soft smiles…..”. Indeed, her friend is a hot female, a sexy thing. Only super confident males dare because she is a men killer. One smile and men topple over in numbers. But she prefers women, eats only sometimes a guy like a sweet morsel. The exemption was certainly the father of her child. She would have stuck to him, but unfortunately he was the macho-man whom she would attract but who would never be a suitable partner. She fooled herself badly, though there is no real regret. Her daughter is worth it all.

‘Alcohol!’ Femina shrugs. It drives all kinds of desires! It truly is too bad that she herself prefers men, particularly when none is around! Tina watched her through half closed eyes. She takes the bottle to fill the glasses, raises her’s to Femina who follows suit. “Cheers”, she says and glasses clang together. Hold out and carry on drinking. All urges can be drowned that way.

“I intend to travel Alpha 7,” Femina says suddenly continuing with the conversation

Her friend perks herself up, is very interested indeed. Alpha 7 is a desirable destination amongst the travelling connoisseurs. Everyone wants to go there at least once. On Alpha 7 everyone’s dreams come true, so says the propaganda that is made for Alpha 7. In essence that is likely correct, but it may not be quite the same when it comes to the details. There are confusing reports, contributing to the allure, so it becomes the dream itself and not everyone believes they can afford it.

“Alpha 7”, says Tina softly and slowly as if it was chocolate she was melting on her tongue. “You think you will get there?” she asks seriously. “You know it is not that simple!”— “And it takes some specific preparations!” she adds.

Femina nods, and admits, she had thought about it many times, but it is only now, in the spur of the moment that she decided. “I am going and we shall see.”

“Well, then go!” states Tina dryly. After all, she considers only the hardships that are inevitable, nothing else.

Femina ponders. Tina could just as well have said: ‘Alpha 7? Great! But it may be beyond your means!’ That makes her think……., her mind focuses, all senses meet in one point…….PENG!!!!……. She jumps.

“What the hell…!” but seeing Tina trying to get the foaming champagne into the goblets is too funny. She laughs. The cork flew off the right time for her. Not for the little one though. She woke up as well and looks confused. Femina finds it all too funny and carries on laughing. Oh poor mother! How can you ever serve everyone right!

“So sorry, my dear” says Tina to her daughter. She dries her hands in the long shawl she carries around most times, because they are so handy she claims, and as she shows, they are. “You see, this happens when too much goes on at the same time. Did you get frightened?”

The little one nods and does not know what to do. Tina makes an inviting gesture. Ah good mother! Your heart is so big if you leave it undivided. The little one moves over to her, puts her head into her lap. Pieta!

“Cheers”, says Femina and clangs the glasses again, “may the world carry on spinning and….”, “…..or whatever”. She drinks all in one go and fires the glass at the wall. Tina drinks slowly and smiles. Oh dear Mother! To be undivided in time is all you need to do.

“Why don’t you go to bed?” asks the little one, rubbing her eyes. “Come on, let’s go to bed!”

‘It definitely would be better’, Femina agrees in her thoughts. Irritability rises up. How she despises it all! It is enough just to see the various faces at the morning meeting, – every day the same, – most of them she does not want to see, they are not worth the glance. Notwithstanding she has to interact with them; well they really will go on her nerves tomorrow. She checks the clock. Worse, they will go on her nerves today, today already.

Loudly she says: “I would really like to carry on celebrating our reunion, we see each other so seldom. I don’t want to go to bed yet.” She looks inquisitively to Tina. She also wants to stay up. The little one grumbles a bit but is satisfied when Tina rises to bring her to bed.

“We could all sleep in my bed. It is big and I will be very silent getting up in the morning!” She shouts after them. She hears them muttering and giggling as they disappear to their rooms.

Femina finds herself suddenly alone in the silence of the night. There is heavy fog outside turning the glass of her big window into frosted shade. ‘She may go beyond her means?!’ Yes, she does! But that is not the problem. It is the other way round. The circumstances push her boundaries!

She gets up, opens the window. She takes deep breaths and enjoys the moist and cool air on her skin. In the fog all shapes lose their form. Real and true are two different things. The truth is a serpent and reality lies. Munchhausen, the ‘Baron of Lies’ is the master indeed: He pulled himself out of the swamp by his own tuft of hair. – There! – The fog tries to make her believe that there are no stars, no moon, that there was no city in existence down the hill, – how ridiculous! One knows after all what is true. In fact, it never lacks evidence only comprehension.  She sighs. She is quite drunk, just the right time for melancholy.

Tina returns. As she see her friend at the window, she steps behind her, puts her arms on Femina’s shoulder and leans her head on them.

“Just look”, she says, “how the fog swallows the moon!” Her soft voice is close to Femina’s ear. “The full moon loses his way in the thickness of the fog…….”, she laughs. Femina feels the waves and as they spill over to her, there is suddenly laughter in all cells contagiously comforting. Her thoughts follow suit. Brainwaves, pleasing in their play and changing actions.

“Just look, how the fog shines!” She hears Tina’s voice again. “It looks like the mother of pearl” and she laughs softly.

Yes indeed, so it is with the lost moon. It is the night of the mother of pearl. One is the cause for the other and what is true and what real is so easy to ascertain:

Real is that they are drunk, true is that at this point in time they are happy, unconditionally. They remain there for a while, filling themselves up with the mother of pearl night. When they feel the cold, Femina closes the window and they return to their seats, – blood sisters.

Before you came back, I was nearly letting myself fall into the arms of melancholia. You know what I was thinking about?” Femina asks

Tina shakes no with her head, but says ‘yes’! Can she still have a real conversation with her? And who is cross-eyed here? Femina is not sure, besides she sees Tina doubly. She looks more closely. Indeed, she sees two pair, cross-eyed! Indeed, she sees doubles. Femina grabs a mandarin from the fruit bowl standing in the middle of the table. She throws it at Tina and gets her on her head. Very effective! The double pictures are gone and Tina is not cross-eyed any longer. They laugh and carry on with nonsense. Tina fetches the mandarin that came to rest close to her and eats it with gusto.

“Let’s go into the kitchen! I have a graving for something, mhmmh……don’t know for what, but mhm, I want something… whatever it may be.”

The suggestion is well received and so they change locale, the kitchen that is.

Her thoughts return to the word freedom. Oddly enough it awakens in everyone similar longings but everyone understands it differently.

Sozieterna understands it as:

‘Nothing to be, Nothing to have, Nothing to want, Nothing to need’

Death seems to be the ultimate liberator and Philosophers, particularly the existentialists or materialists subscribe to it:

‘No Body, No Possession, No Desire, No Necessity.’

One could conclude that this is incompatible with life! In the concept of Existentialism it is indeed. Sozieterna agrees to such view only conditionally.

Sozieternas experience absolute freedom within their existence. They accept it as a state that is shaped by the physical conditions to which all living things belong, but they can access this state, transcending matter.  Some do so more often than others, but that usually depends on their environmental circumstances. All of them however can enjoy absolute freedom. All of them consider relative freedom (one cannot go without the other), to be a force, not state, of the physical world, firmly anchored in it, and effective in all creatures. Absolute and relative freedom have equality of content, but are different in effect because they act on different plains or premises, if you like.

The qualities are interchangeable:

‘Nothing to be, or no body, or no weightiness. Nothing to have, or no possession, or no stagnation. Nothing to want, or no desire, or no dominion. Nothing to need, or no necessity, or no selfishness.

It is the nature of relative freedom to cause problems. Femina is in the midst of it.

“Can you imagine”, she continues with the conversation, “some weeks ago I had the beadles in my home. Mind you, as law enforcers!”

“You say! What did they want?” Tina is very interested.

“I think they wanted ‘brownies’, get a medal or whatever. There were 4 of them and I have no idea what they were after, except they may just have done a sweep to see if they could unearth anything, anything indeed. I understand they do that quite routinely. It means to me that they don’t really have specific knowledge but are hoping for some success to report to their bosses. You know, sometimes reality does not seem real to me, rather being a cliché or a soup opera; I watch in astonishment, but it has nothing to do with my reality, except that it makes me concerned.”

She lights a cigarette before she continues with the actual event that took place.

“Just picture that! “She says, “I have friends visiting me, a couple from an other country. I am not at home. There is a ring at the door. Naturally my friends open.   It is no nice surprise. They are confronted by the beadles instead and these act accordingly. They intimidate my friends, search their luggage and my home, take the young man away into their station, leave the young woman behind totally shocked and all that without any explanation to any of them, which would have been the least you could expect. That was even more so upsetting for her, because she could not speak the local language, and though he could, having lived in this state at one time, he was not explained anything either and was not permitted to discuss anything with her, for the obvious reason of having a language barrier that the beadles could not overcome. He was then held for hours at the station, where they questioned him before they let him go. He had no idea what they really wanted and to this day none of us ever found out. When I got the call from her I was as shocked, but she was horrified as he had not yet returned home. I could not leave work either. It was indeed very upsetting. This was a demonstration of power, totally uncalled for and utterly disgusting! When I finally was able to follow up on this at the local station, I still did not get any reasonable answers, except that, so it seems, some paranoid neighbors raised alarm of strangers being in my home, and it was the officials’ duty to act upon, or so they say. Of course, they insisted the event was handled absolutely to their standards, after all they only did their duty! There was nothing I could do. It was 4 against 2 reporting how the event unfolded and who can argue against officials doing their duty! It is sad enough to have such neighbors, and let me assure you, the couple was not strange, only strangers. The neighbors do not really care about me. They hardly talk to me, because I am not one their crowd. So whatever was said or suggested, it remains unknown to me. However, doing a raid like this is alarming, after all the state claims to be a democracy! But, ‘they only do their duties!’ Disgusting, that’s what it is!”

She shudders in memory of this incident. Though to be fair, there are worse states around who employ even worse methods, but it does not justify any of it.

“How come you can tolerate this society so much better than me? You had one of your official departments coming up against you recently as you told before.”

Tina grimaces, shrugs her shoulders and finally says: “I am just fatalistic.”

Femina breaks into laughter. Tina pretends to have a weak point and is resigned to it, which is utterly non-sense.

“Such stigma would be no problem for any of us. I wished I had more of it. But you have answered my question, thank you. It is not different for you either. I just make more noise about it, isn’t it?”

They look at each other and smile. Suddenly Femina jumps up, rushes into the kitchen. She fetches a bottle of champagne from the fridge and two crystal goblets from the cabinet. How beautiful the crystal sparkles. She smiles. She has a weakness for all things beautiful particularly when it sparkles and gleams. All her friends know it, Tina sometimes makes fun of her for it. Femina admits, it can be more costly than it is reasonable but she does not care. Ph!

Back in the living-room, she puts the glasses down and lets the cork softly pop. She fills the glasses. The pearling champagne scatters more sparkles around. Tina watches her smiling silently.

“To Sozieterna!” says Femina and raises the goblet.

“To Sozieterna!” says Tina doing the same

They clink glasses. The sound is as beautiful as the champagne sparkles. They empty the glasses in one go and then throw them against the wall. That’s how you turn twinkling into clatter. Both listen to the sounds. There was the crying of the stars and the laughing of uncounted voices. There was the joy of liberated souls and the sound of immortality.

Femina brings new goblets and puts another record on, Miles Davis ‘In a silent way’, will smooth all temper. They drink more than just one bottle. In fact they empty three.

“Do you believe, we will meet each other again?” asks Tina

Femina falls into silence. Indeed, will she see her friend again? Her answer comes very slowly indeed and is uncertain: “I don’t know…….., it may depend on our direction and speed.” Silence returns. Sadness seems to set in.

Femina recalls the beadles. Defiantly she pouts her mouth. Aloneness in space seems to be endless, but in reality it is not. Sozieternas move in time-spaces and space-times. They will always find each other. Fear on earth is unavoidable. There the torture has no end and the suffering is one’s own. A friend can take away loneliness but never the pain.

Femina raises her glass and blinks at her friend. “Of course we will meet again! No matter where, no matter when. Cheers!”

The light breaks in the cut plains of the crystal. Cinderella glistens in her beauty, her feet hardly touch the ground. She seems to glide from plain into space as she dances with her prince. Magic overtakes him. It is simple as always. ‘Love is the core of all things and the answer to all questions.’

Should we be concerned about the children living in such unconventional conditions? This is a question only asked by people who believe their type of raising children is the right one. Sozieternas are less categorical. The only thing they insist on is that every Sozieterna is responsible for all children, their own or not. The two women would never consider anything else.

Children as a topic is for them always present, particularly as they have such a different opinion about it. Tina is keen to test Femina’s decision not to have any children. After all, she may want to change that. In the past they had hot discussions about it. Femina accused Tina once of having her child only for selfish reasons anyway. Of course, this was unfair, like the boxer hits under the belt. Tina’s reaction was just the same, stating that ’Femina’s childlessness being nothing but selfish.’ They ended up laughing and the topic was deferred.

However, children are not only on the agenda due the Femina’s unchanged intentions to remain childless, but particularly when the theme veers into the realm of future in general. Naturally it is ever-present tonight, because Femina is truly fed up with everything while Tina is relaxed and beams with optimism.

They remained silent for a while, getting lost in their own thoughts. There are the little noises breaking into the silence, the click of a lighter, the cups on the saucer, a big breath.

Femina gets up to put a vinyl on her turntable. She has a small collection of these, a left over from the old days. Some of them have indeed become quite valuable. But the truth is, Femina is rather reluctant to throw things out, particularly when she has fond memories connected with them.

‘Karma’, that is what she feels for right now. The music’s effect is immediate, – magic potion! She can throw all her negative feelings into it. The music devours them, and then returns them in soothing sounds which can then travel back into her brain. The sounds make the membranes swing so very differently to what aggression could achieve. Music a magic potion? Certainly, because she is a transformer and that is not new indeed.

Femina glances over to her friend. Tina is showing her motherly side, because she

checks the clock, looks at the little one, who is soundly asleep anyway, and then blinks over to Femina. Femina smiles mockingly.

“Do you remember when we called each other selfish discussing the kiddies? Ridiculous, isn’t it? We both  a  r  e  selfish! Why did we really get to that stage? Because we wanted to proof each other wrong, or having higher morals than the other, or wanting to convert each other?”

“Ah Tina my love,” Femina agrees in delight. “I still believe, that our children have it not easy, but on the other hand, I can see how well off they are too. So be it! Besides, your motherly persona suits you so well.”

“Same can be said for you,” responds Tina and grins unashamedly.

“I am not motherly!” protests Femina, but Tina rolls her eyes and sighs. “Sorry,” she says after all, “you are the biggest mother hen I know!”

Femina responds by shrugging her shoulders. The music gets hold of her again with Leon Thomas voice insisting:

“The creator has a master plan. Peace and happiness for every man………….”

Femina listens intently. Her eyes wander off into the distance. There the dreams are empty, because there the dreams are alive and have no need to keep dreaming.

“Ga, ga, ga, gaaaa….., “she returns to the now, tries to imitate a chicken, by flapping with arms bent. Tina smiles. Stopping with the cackles she stares at Tina until they both fall into laughter. As different as they are, so united they are. No other society unites opposition so peacefully. There they are, two women, one believing that having children enriches her existence, the others sees them as hindrance. One states, how beautiful it is to create new life. The other insists life is not good enough as it is. Tina talks about ‘creation’, Femina about ‘obligation.’  The sperm is already a gift! Though demands start at the latest there! Pregnancy gives! Pregnancy takes! You could go on to the bitter end where the friendship could falter or war could begin. After all, here come ‘Existence’ and ‘Non-Existence’ into question and that can be confrontational. But Tina and Femina don’t fight with each other, they laugh together. They have no superimposed moral obligations. Sozieternas live according to the principle to live life in full consciousness. In it all variety has a place . Adversity does not exclude but includes. It comes to no surprise that Yin and Yang in black and white is an emblem in their nation’s armorial bearings.

“You know,” says Femina, ”sometimes I am overwhelmed by horror to find the mental development of the human race leaving the individual human being far behind. It seems, he cannot grasp his own potential, and cannot control the spirits he called. I am so over it to be drawn into the turmoil of the ones who really don’t know what they are doing. In my books history does not need to continue. But I truly feel sorry for the children.”

“My dear, I know. I understand you too good. I myself worry as well,” replies Tina compassionately. “But you will see, it will, it must change! You can already smell the change coming, you can see the changes. The chaos will find a new order! No need to be so pessimistic! Of course you feel depressed by all the pressure you are under at the moment, but don’t fret! The mass is inert. It needs force to move it and forces need to have enough momentum. We all operate under these rules. It is the law of physics, if you don’t mind me to remind you.”

Femina shrugs her shoulders. “It is such a pain to wait.  There are too many ignorant people around me who drive me nuts. You know, they dream of freedom, but hate the freethinker.  In fact, they are so afraid of freedom and more so to live freedom. Though I do understand, I don’t like it. I would forgive these ignorants their fear and ignorance and even their incapability, but they are so self-absorbed and try to up-load their conflicts on me. That goes too far! They can keep their rubbish. After all, I am not the councils rubbish collector, who only exists anyway because they don’t clean up after themselves. It truly is enough that I acknowledge the garbage, and leave as soon as possible.”

Tina giggles amused, stating that her friend de-rationalizes employment opportunities. Besides they were talking about children, a different thing altogether. But Femina shakes her head in disagreement. These things are all interrelated to her and are a major reason why she chooses genocide in contrast to Tina who opts for genesis. Future can go on without her. Her friend contributes to the bill. That evens out the balance.

“The creator has a master plan………, love and peace for every man………”

“It is overdue to clear primeval fear from horror! An analysis is urgently required,” she blurts out unexpectedly and unheralded. Silence follows, her thoughts going their own way. ‘To be occupied by fear is loss of freedom, exactly where fear has taken its place.’

“I cannot prevent that other’s constraints limit my freedom,” she continues, “you know as the saying goes,’ you can’t leave in peace if the neighbor doesn’t let you’, or you raise suspicion because you are not fitting the mould, or where the norm determines purpose of life. I just cannot pretend it doesn’t matter! I have to make a stand for freedom, despite knowing that besides our people hardly anyone else understands what I am talking about. Unfortunately, I am no hero, nor do I intend to be one. To take flight is I believe the most rational action.”

Tina nods and states with contempt: “Males World!” The patriarchal races towards the abyss, and so is everything else. Have you considered all aspects of your flight? After all, it is up to us women to take action. We women have to fight for freedom! We women have to turn the wheel around! We must take the rains! Otherwise, you know what chances we all have…….”

Femina is not convinced. “As women? We have hardly a chance! Look at the plight of women all over the world. Women cannot succeed because as soon as they start to think they get eliminated. And we, us Sozieternas, we are far too small in numbers! Pity? Well not necessarily, isn’t it? The unfit die. Why should we cry about the human race! Sure, that we are caught within is a reason. Obviously I don’t like to go down in flying colors. And yes, mass is inert. But this is now more an excuse for being lazy with decay setting in; decomposing what was once so full of promise. To top it all, I see how time has got a hold on me, so I need to react. At this stage I truly find stability and solace in my nomadic nature, but in genocide lays my answer. To come back to you and me, I am the ‘black prophet’; you are the ‘white painter’.”

Tina is amused. She laughs softly and while straightening up her spine she says: “I do agree, absolutely.”

Femina is waiting. Usually when the gender issues come up in their conversation, Tina enquires about Femina’s love affairs. It would certainly provide better entertainment. Lust makes for more fun than ‘frust’. But Tina says nothing. May be she believes there is nothing Femina has to tell, because both of them have nothing good to say about men. That is rather unusual. Though Tina does not generally like men, including Sozieternas, she gives them at least the credit that they don’t harm and have their role in raising children. Femina however likes men. She prefers Sozieternas, particularly when it comes to long term relationships, but she also makes friends with others, if they can raise her interest in some way or another. Both women find the evolutionary fact of a dualistic gender development fascinating. They talk about it not only because it is something that cannot be dismissed by nature, but because it is a fundamental discussion of significance for all intelligent minds and of universal proportion.  Femina sees pleasure in it as well. Tonight that aspect of pleasure does obviously not prevail. Femina is too caught up in frustration and stuck on freedom. With Tina not taking the lead, she comes back from the side trekking of her mind with a well known quotation: “War is the father of all things!”

But the water of a spring flows on as well. “It is the mother of all things!”

They are a minority, but they differ from other ethnic groups and any other nations as they have no and never claim or want to have a state of their own. They have no government and no representative whom they chose and who would act on their behalf. Every single person is a representative of their nation. Every single person takes care of governing business by consulting each other if necessary. They have neither jurisdiction nor executive power because they have no written laws and therefore don”t need law enforcement. They have councils for all matters they wish to address. They have freedom of faith, though they may not belong to a religious community and they certainly have no priesthoods.

Generally they are nomads, or cosmopolitans, settling at times and integrating into the local society, but they usually don”t claim ownership of anything and do not get hooked on possessions. They use things; make use of things and it means that they are ready to move on any time they wish.

Social bonds between them are strong. Men and women are equal in their social standing and both are emancipated. There are no restrictions with whom they wish to form a relationship. You can find couples of different or same sex, communes, groups sharing one household, or couples that live separately and not even distances between them gives an indication of how strong their bonds are, because they believe, that physical closeness is no measure of their feelings and feelings do not dissipate only because they may need to live apart. But they still have a strong longing for togetherness to be with their loved ones and their fellow Sozieternas. That is expressed by having an own language despite being multilingual. They also have their own education programs, are active in media politics, sponsor science and arts and ensure every child has the best of education that can be found. You find many scientists and artists in their population. They have the world”s best memory-computer system that is in existence, that is accessible to all, and in fact all contribute to it as well. Their Life Codex however is in its flexibility passed on by mouth; because everyone writes his own history and the basic principles that apply to all are internalized. These don”t require to be set in stone and there are only a few, so nobody needs to refresh their memory.

They have a city, Solarsol, or as they call it, the Camp. Everyone will visit there as often as they can or wish. Only Sozieternas live there, not because they don”t like strangers, it is because hardly any stranger will get there. Femina was there once, loving it. She has only fond memories that will last forever. Of course, she will attempt to visit again and some when she will. To talk about it needs to be left for another time. One thing is very certain: To be a member of Sozieterna is a privilege and no Sozieterna would ever want to be anything else.

While Camp is their center or their major meeting place, they are nomads and therefore they can run into each other or meet each other anywhere all over the worlds, here more, there less, but sometimes not finding each other at all. They may be travelling in groups, or are single, but when they meet they celebrate the occasion. They love a good party. They are a sensual folk, love live and actually find always something they can celebrate. However, when they meet it serves also practical matters as they can exchange news, provide information and share tips and experiences that is helpful to them. There is plenty of things to talk about. They are often invited to other people”s festivities, because to have them around is always interesting. They can be perceived as “exotic”, “easy going”, “charming”. The downside is that they may get a reputation of being carefree, too carefree may be and indeed amoral. To know about other Sozieternas” encounters with strangers is therefore very helpful indeed.

It may happen that Sozieternas live isolated from their own in a foreign community, or they are on a journey where they cannot meet. They mingle then with the strangers and may form relationships, even procreate. Tina”s child is the offspring of one of such relationships. Femina knew about it and was convinced it was the wrong thing to do. She warned her friend: “Don”t fall for him! You are so totally different! It will only bring you heartache and problems!” Sadly she was right. On the other hand, not only are Sozieternas different to other people, so is every human being different from one another. She had really no right to interfere. It is just the old notion of wanting to protect a loved one from harm, to no effect of course.

It is worthwhile to mention in that context of being different to others, Sozieternas are peaceful people. They know war only by watching others making them. That does not imply that they are puny, weak and unable to fight. The opposite is more to the mark. They are physically and mentally very strong people. They take care of their body and their mind. In fact, they are generally attractive. Amongst them you find absolute beauties and indeed perfected beings in any aspect of their life. They love everything beautiful; they have a sense for beauty. They see beauty everywhere, another cause for celebration. May be that is due to the fact that they have survived history for so long that they have reached a state of sublimation. It suggests that they may have reached the state of decadence as well. Sozieternas are aware of it. They therefore avoid to indulge and don”t oppose intercultural relationships. The children usually remain in care of the Sozieterna partner should such a relationship resolve, but even the children are given the choice where they wish to be, particularly when they have reached the ability to make such choices.

It was already mentioned that Sozieternas have developed special attitudes, but they also have cultivated other abilities. These can arouse admiration on the one hand, but suspicion on the other, depending on the person who judges. In the worst case, Sozieternas may be subjected to persecution and even annihilation. The mentioned abilities are not unique to Sozieternas, though they have potentiated their genetic inscription by practicing and applying these skills on a daily basis. However, if they would not do so, eventually these could be reduced again to the basic inheritance, just like a muscle atrophies if it does not get used. The major aspect of these skills is that they have become highly sensitive Seismographs. They can read people, particularly their body language, there emotional waves and mind sets. Another individual may find this highly desirable or it may provoke fear. Some may recognize it as beneficial for their purpose, others may find it detrimental, particularly if they have something to hide, be it only their own flawed character. Sozieternas believe it secures their self-protection good enough, but that depends on the circumstances they find themselves in. If they only have to deal with jealousy, envy or anxiety than the risk to come to any harm is low, but if they are confronted by others or governments as a whole who feel threatened in their core believes, it may be very dangerous indeed, if not deadly.

To add to these concerns, Sozieternas have profound strength and would not hesitate to demonstrate it if unable to retreat and that does not usually help a risky situation or their safety. This strength is grounded in their all encompassing SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS.

They don”t consider themselves as elite in the world”s social hierarchy, (others do), but as normal and no better than other living creatures of the cosmos, but this self-consciousness truly sets them apart from other societies and the majority of the world”s populations. Based on their ancestry, development and education, culminating in that self-consciousness it has brought them closest to the destination all strive for and any could ever be. It is exemplified in their own understanding of time and timekeeping. On their calendar it is the year 0. In year 0 the final destination is SELFREALISATION or ENLIGHTENMENT. In the year 2000 or any other for that matter, the final destination though desired is still clouded. The deprived minds have not been able to develop any further. The results are evident: Humans fly to the moon, experience the vastness of the cosmos, but they have not found a way to themselves. To be conscious about one”s own self and be conscious about one”s being is identical and in the self lay all the answers.

The 3rd millennium sounds promising, doesn”t it? SPACE-TIME-AGE. Will that be good enough? Don”t bet on it! Time may run out, before humans realize the cat is chasing its own tail.

Due to apparent reasons Sozieternas have no problems with identification. They know themselves and recognize any of their own kind. To recognize others they only need one sense, not five. For the senseless, they cannot readily locate Sozieternas which is appreciated very much, because Sozieternas really don”t like confrontations. They try to avoid conflict with others as good as they can. Besides, they have no missionary intent and know too well that admiration is not better than persecution and intelligence does not make up for lack of sensibility.

The benefit of living nomadic, amongst others shows there as well. Sozieternas are ready to leave any time, while others stagnate. They can leave anything behind because they don”t get attached. They have no fear to lose anything because they are not possessive. Their interest lay in the pleasure of live, not in its destruction.

Their zest to enjoy themselves has been pointed out already. An example of how colorful their get-togethers can be may be highlighted by their sense for gaiety and decorations. They love butterflies. When they meet in the tropics where these creatures are particularly numerous and colorful, they put them into their hair or on their shoulder and at the end of the festivity they let them fly on command. Sometimes that becomes a flutter orgy, sometimes it takes a while, because it seems that the butterflies enjoy their role as jewels and are not keen to leave.

There is much more to say about Sozieterna. But for now that should suffice. The reader may conclude that Sozieternas are hippies, gypsies or anarchists. It is left to his opinion. It is however necessary to emphasize, hardly any of the fundamental philosophical or theosophical aspects of Sozieterna have been raised, mainly for the reason not to get side-tracked to discussions that are better held somewhere else or left for another time.

“Well”, says Femina with a dismissive gesture, “the boss is just the hook to hang the hat on for all the other things that cause my heartburn. I don”t know if he really is the worst.” She quickly takes account of various colleagues. “Indeed, the boss is reactionary, intelligent and therefore dangerous, but the subordinates are ignorant, undiscerning, and even dumb, and therefore not less dangerous. The dog bites its tail. The system is so perfect, “thumbscrews”!- In fact, I should not be angry, not with anyone. I am the one who does not fit in.” She falls into silence.

“I think, I have become unsociable and a cynic. “¦.. just listening to what some have to say, their commentary, all their narrow-mindedness, showing their true color”¦”¦.”, she shakes her head, “then only my arrogance and self-preservation keep me cool.”

“You take everything far too seriously”, replies Tina, “you fret. Absolutely unnecessary! You know that, don”t you?”

Femina purses her lips, nods in agreement. Of course her friend is right. What does she expect! Love? From a disabled society, incapable of love that is? To wrong others is a cherished pastime. What does she want from a society that does not know human dignity only human material? It makes her cringe because that”s how you deform the human soul. But she keeps still fighting it.

“Oh Tina”, she says, “it is just so good that you have come. Tell me, don”t you have problems that ruin your mood?”

Tina rolls her eyes. “Just as! More than enough! But being my own boss saves me from some. The problems I have are mostly concerning my little one and sure make me quite sick. Imagine, recently I had a visit from the Children Protection Service because the child apparently is raised in an immoral environment!!!!!”

For clarification, Tina does not live in the same state than Femina. The state Tina resides in is well known to be far more advanced, technologically as well as general living standards are concerned, but that nation is famous for its strict work ethics too and even more so for its old fashioned morals. In fact they are pedestrian if not prudish. They believe, diligence only comes from order, – their order and according their views of course.

“Incredible”, replies Femina promptly

“Trust me, it”s no joke! My ex”s parents want custody, and he of course is happy with that, just to give me a hard time. He cannot forgive me that I left him, and resents even more that it was, as he believes, for a woman.”

“I never understood what attracted you to this macho. Relationships with guys other than us never succeed! And then having a child as well!”

“Odd, isn”t it, nowadays I don”t understand it either. But then I really believed it was possible.”

“Well, what”s the story now?” Femina wants to know

“Ah, it”s okay. I have a lawyer who deals with it and seems to know her stuff. The worst thing that could happen is that I just have to leave the country. Of course they never get my sweetheart. Never! They would have to fight a lion.”

“Why do they want me anyway?” the little one inquires. “I would not leave you”.

Tina smiles. “I know my precious”.

“They want you because you are precious,” states Femina, “but they would not watch out for you as your mum does. They would watch over you as their possession, stamp you without even asking if you like it”.

The little one looks at her in horror.

“Don”t frighten her”, says Tina

“Is that what I do?” asks Femina, “but isn”t true? Truth can be frightening at times”

“Gravity of life will catch up soon enough! I want her to be carefree as long as possible. I want her to be happy.”

“But Tina”, responds Femina,” why should a happy child be prevented from thinking?”

“Well, then maybe I don”t want her to foster ill feelings or incite prejudice.”

Femina looks at her friend with small eyes and sneers: “Don”t tell me you prefer her to be confronted by truth without warning?”

“Well then,” Warning of Evil”? Is that it?” Tina hesitates.

“Whatever you prefer! However, I am not her mother. It is indeed you who is responsible for her upbringing. But I insist that you leave me the freedom to express my opinion. Discussion should be permitted, or shouldn”t it?”

Tina smiles again and pulls a face, admitting that raising a child leaves the question if that what one does is the right thing to do.

“Do they really put stamps on me? Where? On my skin?” The little one”s thoughts obviously got stuck on pain.

“You see, you did make her afraid!” Tina rebukes.

“I am not afraid” claims the little one. “I would scratch and bite and kick them and you would help me, wouldn”t you?”

“Of course!” assure both women in unison, laughing relieved.

Tina explains her daughter now all the ins and outs with all she needs and wants to know. Children are so keen to learn and the “Why” is an all important question.

Time is running quickly. Femina glances at the clock which is small indeed and stands lonely in an empty corner of its shelf. There is still time to carry on, but it is also time to think of going to bed if she wants to be reasonably fit for work tomorrow.

“They try to change you into a machine. You better forget about your own life, and to have a different sleep-wake cycle than what they insist is normal is not far off to be considered a crime. For sure, nobody would accommodate it. After all, -somebody who finds life to be fun raises suspicion. This privilege have only these who have earned it through work, though they usually are too tired for it or have no time left to enjoy it. Only the ones who have money, inherited or by winning it, they are the lucky ones. Everybody else gets a bad consciousness just about by thinking about a possible fortunate life, because one can only be happy when one is dead. That”s where paradise awaits you. Of course that has to be earned just the same. They are crazy, Tina, absolutely crazy!”

“It is the norm that determines what is crazy or normal”, comments Tina dryly.

Ah, that is so typical of Tina! What can she add to that! But she does not want to let go so easily. “And what is with love? Love! You hear so much about it, but”¦”¦; that”s it, you h e a r about it but I wonder if it actually exists. May be it is just an abstract word that someone has whispered into a dream.”

“Oh dear”, says Tina solemnly, “you really are down! But may I remind you of the surf you love so much. You let yourself fall in and now you are in, getting tumbled around and the water is bitter. However, bitterness is only one of the sensations. Hopefully, you have not forgotten.”

Femina shakes her head in agreement: “I just have got too big a dose of it.”

That makes Tina smile again and she reiterates confirmatively that Femina”s departure is absolutely urgent and compelling. She understands too well and agrees with her friend undoubtedly. Her own surgery is full of suffering people and, so are the hospitals as Femina can confirm, who is a “health apostle” by profession. The two exchange their opinions and experiences for a while, discuss some of the things that go from specific events to the more general, concluding that despite being very obvious, the unity of body and mind, or if you like soul, has not been widely, if at all, found recognition in their professional fields of health. Souls have their place in church and bodies can be repaired. Psychohygiene? Who could be bothered! For most, dental hygiene is already too much. Femina believes that the lack of responsibility towards self leads to a lack of responsibility against all and everything. It is so convenient to delegate responsibility. Well, so be it! It creates jobs, isn”t it! Therefore the psychotherapist may go to search for the soul, while the medic can carry on plumbing; – both of course are not permitted to scratch at the surface of the system. Because politics are the expertise of politicians, and they know what is good for the people. Tina grins: “They sure know what is serving themselves.”

Femina lights up another cigarette and fills a new cup of tea. Anger has dissipated, leaving her with soothing emptiness. The little one has fallen asleep after all. For the night it is half-time. It reminds her that she has to get up early in the morning but she resigns. Bugger it! Uninteresting work does not become more interesting because one is rested. It just makes it more bearable. She will deal with it.

“Ah, I am so pleased that you let me grumble and not interrupting me with stupid objections!”

“Oh, I would have lots of objections”, says Tina, “but there is no point with you. You know them as good as you know the answers. So, change of subject, let”s talk about what you have in mind.”

For a moment Femina looks perplexed as if she did not catch the question.

“Do you have plans? Do you have something specific in mind that you want to do?” repeats Tina.

Femina clears her throat while she searches for a clear answer. It is not that simple, because the many things she intends to do are not the specific thing she definitely will do. She burst into laughter and looks at her friend suggestively. Tina gets it, she knows Femina too well.

“I regret not to be able to come with you”, Tina continues. “It would be so good, we three, somewhere on an empty beach under coconut trees and nothing but sun and sea”. She closes her eyes for a moment, just long enough to fly in her mind to one of the beautiful South Sea Islands she can think of. With a sigh she opens the eyes again: “I am so hung up on my wish to give my girl the opportunity to learn what civilization has to offer.” Her voice is hesitant, because she knows too well, that knowledge is not just obtainable by studies, but also by experience.

However, Femina agrees. The little one should train her mind and Tina will surely take care, that the essential does not get lost.

But what is the essential???? It differs from one to the other. Every culture has its own traditions, every religion its own believes.

It is time to look at the two women”s background, providing an understanding and explanation for their kinship and natural ability to fundamentally agree on principles despite differing views and profoundly different personalities.

They are Sozieternas.

Mr. Autumn has arrived early. During the day he tries to hide behind the sun but when the sun is not around he cannot fool anyone. Even the days are shorter as Femina sadly notices. In the morning when she hurries to work, the sky is grey and it takes a long time until the sun, if at all, can pierce through the thick layers of mist and fog. The grasses are wet and the many flowers in the gardens gleam loudly in their bold colors as if they wanted to scream ,- “hey, we are still here despite the nights being so cold, so cold”. In fact, this year has not been summerly at all. The harvest is later than usual and fruits lack the sweetness that comes with maturity.

Since a few days now Femina has been a host. Tina, her best friend and soul mate has come to visit for a few days. They don’t see each other often, both agree it is far too seldom, but circumstances make it impossible to do so. Tina has brought with her her little girl who is now eleven. Femina has seen the child only a few times with big time gaps in between, – incredible how she has grown and she looks so sweet, promising to become indeed a beautiful example of gender. Femina is delighted to have them visiting particularly as she had already given up hope to see them before her own departure.

“So you are off again,” says Tina. She swirls the tee in her cup before she carefully takes a sip. They have made themselves comfortable in Femina’s living-room, relaxing on the lounge between the pillows and cushions, and the little one has lied down right in the middle of them, not showing any signs of wanting to leave. She does not seem to get bored though Tina and Femina can talk and talk, for hours on end, they never run out of things to talk about. Besides, it was a long time they did not see each other. Femina also appreciates discussions with her friend because she is one of few people that Femina knows, who do not just argue the point, but are able to allow topics to develop even if they are not of their opinion. She can phantasize ad absurdum and gently highlight the weaknesses in the other one’s view, not ever losing track of her own convictions. Discussions can get heated, but in the end they are what they are, exchange of opinions, opportunities to see something from a different angle, learn may be something new, and have fun to challenge each other. So, the pleasure is all theirs. How could they ever get bored! This may well be the reason why the little one seems to enjoy it as well and no, she is not tired, when Femina asks. After all Tina and her where out and about the whole day! But no, she is not tired and she happily participates in their conversations beaming in blissful contentment.

They return to Femina’s departure plans. “Leaving”, she says, ” is usually never easy for me, but not from here. Naturally I will miss my ‘oldies’, but there is no other sadness. I sure have to go.”

Tina nods in consent. She herself would like to travel, even with her little girl. But being not anymore as little, she needs schools, forcing Tina to be sedentary for now. Tina is a psycho-therapist. She works from home, is her own boss. She is therefore quite satisfied with her life. Good enough, Femina comments dryly. Besides, she has the little one whom she loves dearly and who contributes to her happiness. The child is the product of a failed marriage. Femina never met the man, which according to Tina is no loss. Femina was never really curious, she saw his pictures and heard enough about him,- it did not entice her to actually meet him.

At present Tina lives with a girlfriend, a friend of both of them for many years. This relationship seems to be very harmonious. ” May be the world is really better off without men”, Femina states hesitantly and glances at her friend, who only nods. Indeed, she seems to be the best proof of such assumption. Femina has not seen Tina as happy and relaxed in many years, and so is the child. Tina remains silent. Such a comment was unusual for Femina, but Femina’s mood is running low. She had a stressful day at work and though she already has given notice it is sometimes not enough to soothe her mind. There is her boss who is a “nightmare”, and Femina finds it sometimes difficult to control herself. She would like nothing more than to thrash her opinion about him into his skull. He will not change, no matter of her staying or leaving. And why should he anyway?!

“I cannot face my boss in the moment,” Femina continues. “He is such a loser. Mind you, he got everything what society cherishes. He is clever, ambitious, a tenacious worker and he is ruthless, and coldblooded. And he has a biting wit. Besides, being quite young, dynamic and if you like traditional, he does not look bad either he seems to have it all. He already climbed the social ladder high up, but not yet to the top. I suspect that is where he aims to be. He wants the highest realm of power that the ruling establishment has to offer. He of course is totally self absorbed and believes he is the best. And why wouldn’t he, having been in Solarsol, the Mecca of all progress, – something that most of the homegrown achievers admire in speechless awe. It brings them down to their knees. Idiots! They are all idiots! Of course, he has gained knowledge but to be better than the rest is fictitious. However, the overall educational level here is grossly lacking. No surprise then, that the apprentice in Solarsol, becomes the super specialist at home, and he laps it all up, instead putting the records right. Oh how I hate them, him as well as the others”

Femina has let her anger fly, but now she stops, takes deep breaths and noisily expels the air, her nostrils flaring with the in and out.

“But what can I do? Don Quichote and the wind mills! – and meanwhile the world falls apart. There are too many of them. Everywhere. Ignorance worldwide. Prejudice! Superstition! Or is it purely the inertia of the mass? And heaps of Neros in key positions,- and then this overused argument of the “Will of God” and the “human nature”,- I just cannot hear that any longer! Sometimes you think you are talking to someone with intelligence, but when you look closer into their eyes, you are taken back by the conceit, vanity, ignorance that lies in them and you know, these are dangerous combinations! Well, the evidence is out in the open, you see how far the world has come.”

Femina fall silent again, calming down.

“And still, I believe in the future,” says Tina matter of factly

Femina shrugs her shoulders. “Indeed, it does not matter. Though I don’t believe in it, it is a possibility and damn; – this is reason enough not to give up!”

She takes a cigarette, slowly lighting it. “You have done your part to ensure continuation”, she says and hints at the little one who listens attentively with the head resting on one arm. So here they are, models, but without dictatorial validity or use of power.

“What is continuation?” asks the little one

Femina and Tina look at each other, smiling. “Continuation is when things move on”, answers Femina and waits.

“Hm”, says the little one and seems to think intensely, because many things move on, in fact, everything does.

“And you, still not keen to have your own progeny?”, continues Tina

Femina smiles and listens deeply into herself. She has often thought about it and still does as she finds it important, but the result is always the same. And so it is now: “No……., truly no.”

Tina grins unashamedly. She knows, that an argument such as ‘ you miss indeed a lot…..’ does not cut it, but she insists on the point that Femina forgoes a responsibility and that she acts egoistically; their race should not die out. On the other hand she would never want to push Femina into something that she does not want. However, she likes to stir the fire. After all, this topic is hotter than ever. But Femina is not particularly keen to take the bait, not at present anyhow. She is too exhausted from the day, or better from the content of the day, that was so full of rubbish that one could easily suffocate in it. On days like this, future for her is nothing more than a word.

“What happened today that you are so affected,” Tina asks after Femina falling silent again. “The boss? Come on, – most men are forgettable, that is nothing new,- what else?”